tamang kain.. (flesh eating)

flesh flesh flesh

Two Tuesdays ago, spending early breakfast and 2 beers with  my two handsome huhums (boy-friends, no not lets hehehe) chutz and ton at Watering Hole, i thought vaguely heard my name being greeted on radio.. (i was using my phones headset yah know). DJ said “This goes to kookie, from kiddoo” i thought, “what the”… the song goes  

Nelly Furtado – ManEater

Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door you start screaming
Come on everybody what you here for?
Move your body around like a nympho
Everybody get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come on jump around
I want to see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me, or be me!

Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She’s a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cards
make you fall, real hard in love
She’s a Maneater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all, of her love
She’s a maneater
make you buy cars
make you cut cards
Wish you never ever met her at all!

Knowing Ton, he laughed so hard i silently wished the beer would come out of his nostrils.

Whats a Maneater? With Urban dictionary.. it is defined as..

1. The female equivalent to the more male-associated words like pimp or player. An irresistable woman who chews and spits out men after using them for some sort of gain — be it sexual, financial or psychological.

2. Used sometimes for women who has that influence on men to seduce them and then, throw them away…
Note: Not entirely Sexual, mainly for her to exploit them in financial or some other gain.

3. A female, or in some instances, gay or bisexual male, who appears upon first meeting to be a hoochie or a bird, but upon closer inspection, is found to be intentionally collecting as many admirerers as possible because of insecurity, sheer boredom, or the invited influence of a social group.

A maneater is neither a promiscuous individual nor a dinner whore, but rather one who seeks camraderie, admiration, and social verification instead of sexual pleasure or financial gain.

—

I blinked at the thought.. im not that..anymore (*blush*)

“Well, whats done is done.. maneater i may be years ago but not anymore.. im more of the main course this days..” i said pointedly at the two..

more laughter errupted… i felt accused.

“G*Go, anong years? eh ung taga taguig anong tawag mo dun?” quipped chutz…

“Taga taguig.. , sya … dun sya nakatira.. kelan nga ba un?” i felt my voice draining away “Date, date lang kaya yon..ang tagal na kaya nu, scrolling my cellphones calendar.. oh 8 months ago na kaya un!”

—

Its not being malandi, definitely not being abusive… its us girls.. i think all girls are men eater at their own right..

if boys are born like that.. (that that yes) girls are born to .. eat them up i guess hehe. I dare redefine urban dictionary.. meneater you may call us but hey, just like men..(kung may kasabihan silang palay na ang lumalapit sa manok… favorite ko naman ang chickenjoy). I say, its not my fault if they offered to spend for me, because i of course refuse to let them. I was raised by two wonderful parents and 75 other relatives who would always remind me how rude it is to have someone else spend for you much more you abuse it. But it is also rude to refuse things men say are “from their hearts”.. OA man eh sa yun talaga sinabi diba?

—

I was born in a generation where girls are magagaling.. hindi man lahat leader leaderan… naging leader leaderan naman mga better half nila (hello Sen. Clinton?) .. I was born in a family where if i ask my dad s0mething his constant answer is.. “ASK YOUR MOM.” 

Hindi na bago to, gusto lang baguhin ng maraming  INGITERO DYAN.

–

And when she walks she walks with passion
when she talks, she talks like she can handle it
when she asks for something boy she means it
even if you never ever seen it
everybody get your necks to crack around
all you crazy people come on jump around
you doing anything to keep her by your side
because, she said she love you, love you long time!

so between chutz smile and tons sarsactic look i finally said..

hindi ko kasalanan kung naging maneater ako!! kinunsinte ako ng lahat ng kinain ko! wala akong pinagsisihan, di ko narin kasalanan kung nagsisiman silang makilala ako…

–

Never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!
you wish you never ever met her at all!

 

– so to my girls to my single ladies.. continue eating their them hearts out, mag request na ang lahat, sa radio sa myx sa mtv i pa page pa sa customer service ng lahat ng department stores di dapat natitinag.. Chos.

sabi nga ni katy perry

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain’t no big deal, it’s innocent..

buffalo chicken wings sunday

yumm yumm humm humm

Because of our soo sooo soooooo busy scheds. Alcris promised me a sunday treat.. he will be cooking from scratch buffalo chicken wings. Iya asked me what that is, and i briefly explained its like the cow and the chicken ata… i said (so what kung jologs ako i dont care)

Well apparently its that hot hot hot chicken wings.. in that cheezy sauce, i cook but mostly filipino and chinese cuisine i have by heart and i havent had the time to check what exactly the buffalo chicken wings are.

So we went on grocery shopping at megamall, for the ingredients, chicken wings of course, tabasco sauce, hot sauce and cheese cheese cheese.. Im happy to let you know that as usual even if sya ang chef ako naman ang bitcera sa groceries i pointed what i wanted.. we ended up buying fries (which is bawal for me) and ice cream (bawal for me and iya too), alcris ian ended up almost exasperated at how many bawal i wanted..

Una naming nilafang ni iya ang half gallon na cheese ice cream.. ICE CREAM. Dun ko nadin pinasawsaw ang fries… Iya said this is not good for us we will have tummyache and sipon.. I said ice cream gives us happy feelings therefore its medicine. Alcris frowned at me “HALA SIGE TURUAN MO PA NG KALOKOHAN YAN!”

After two hours of watching tv, eating like theres no tomorrow, tickling each other and “cotton” our new puppy. Nagluto nadin si chef.. as usual sya ang chef ako naman utusan.

Ok lang we really had fun after so long na nabusy kami ng sobra. It is always fun to stay home, enjoy sundays and each other.. nakaka de-stress nakakawala ng pagod.

Its always sane to have a happy, healthy and loving family.. and i am always thankful that i have my own little one.. even if the three make it four (with the arrival of cotton) have so little time to spend with each other these days.. its all worth it knowing that you have them..

happy sunday.. oh its monday now. hehe

acute gastroenteritis weekend

Thursday, January 8, 2009

A week after new year, and i was still aware of the fact that i have gained so much extra pounds the past holiday i was concious. I therefore in the back of my mind made sure i go back to my portions i have to loose those extra gains i quietly thought of crash diets etc (even if i know this wouldnt happen considering the work that i have). Then again things proved wrong for me. It was 10pm to be exact, i was seated right beside cyrus when i started feeling burning sensation in my stomach. Now im used to having gastric pains. Ever since i was diagnosed to have gastric ulcers, its almost always normal to feel those cramps (even when i have medications), exact acids always makes me feel squeezy.

I knew that one was different, after 20mins of trying to shift around my chair, craming my mouse, keyboards and trying to breath as normally as possible the pain just wouldnt go away.. i silently gripped the edges of my workstation, head spinning i ran to the washroom and started what i would now call my “barfing moments”. Excuse this portion to those who are eating, hungry or just ate. I made 7 trips to the washroom in a 5 hour period not including when i rushed through the clinic (3 times, and in those times i made about twice or thrice side trips to the washroom on the ground floor). I started feeling dizzy, loosing so much water, even when the doctor had me anti diarrhea capsules, couple of antacids and pain relievers. The pain just wouldnt go away.

–

In November towards the 2nd week of December in 2007, i remember i was hospitalized a couple of times in St. Lukes Medical Center for Severe Acute Gastroenteritis. This was the same, exact scenario – som much pain, barfing moments, diarrhea, and burning acidic sensation inside my tummy. I was getting nervous. The Doctor ordered me to go home and rest, drink plenty of water, try to eat (i remembered not being able to eat, my stomach just wouldn’t have anything), oral solution administered.. i was scared.

–

I knew Alcris would get angry, considering the fact that he never lacked reminders about my stomach and acid problems. He was the first i texted, i knew he would be worried. And he was both angry and worried that i have to through this once more.

From Wikipedia – Gastroenteritis (also known as gastro, gastric flu, and stomach flu, although unrelated to influenza) is inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract, involving both the stomach and the small intestine (see also gastritis and enteritis) and resulting in acute diarrhea. The inflammation is caused most often by infection with certain viruses, less often by bacteria or their toxins, parasites, or adverse reaction to something in the diet or medication. Worldwide, inadequate treatment of gastroenteritis kills 5 to 8 million people per year,^[1] and is a leading cause of death among infants and children under 5

Gastroenteritis often involves stomach pain or spasms (sometimes to the point of being crippled), diarrhea and/or vomiting, with noninflammatory infection of the upper small bowel, or inflammatory infections of the colon.^[5][6][1][7]

It usually is of acute onset, normally lasting 1-6 days (fewer than 10 days) and self-limiting.

• Nausea and vomiting
• Diarrhea
• Loss of appetite
• Abdominal pain
• Abdominal cramps
• Bloody stools (dysentery – suggesting infection by amoeba, Campylobacter, Salmonella, Shigella or some pathogenic strains of Escherichia coli^[4])
• Fainting and Weakness

The main contributing factors include poor feeding in infants. Diarrhea is common, and may be (but not always) followed by vomiting. Viral diarrhea usually causes frequent watery stools, whereas blood stained diarrhea may be indicative of bacterial colitis. In some cases, even when the stomach is empty, bile can be vomited up.

A child with gastroenteritis may be lethargic, suffer lack of sleep, run a low fever, have signs of dehydration (which include dry mucous membranes), tachycardia, reduced skin turgor, skin color discoloration, sunken fontanelles, sunken eyeballs, darkened eye circles, glassy eyes, poor perfusion and ultimately shock.

Symptoms occur for up to 6 days on average. Given appropriate treatment, bowel movements will return to normal within a week after that.

—-

Today is my fourth day of turning into circles. Eating only the cleanest food, eating non fatty, non oily, therefore all lugaw food. Its giving me the creeps how i all planned to lose those pounds but not in this way. Believe me.

I started to cry how things started for me this year i know it will get better but for now ill be nursing my health first. Of course it isnt as worse as in 2007 where i had to be rushed to the hospital. And then i left lifeless and helpless. Now even i Alcris got bit shaken, i got bit scared and weakend from pain. I look forward to a better self. I promise to be really careful now.

Promise.

no more drama

I have a sudden realization today.. and my GOD! did i slept and felt better after thinking about it.

I WILL HAVE A NEW YEAR RESOLUTION.. and im sticking to it. 1, just one, yes one

for 2009 i shall not be overly dramatic about everything

 

1. That 2009 would mean ill be turning another year older come mid year this does not sound exciting AT ALL… so i guess this is the time to accept it with grace , that maturity WILL come with age.. and with maturity comes more men (chos)

2. That i tipped the scale.. i started it out rough, 8-9 pounds over the ideal weight this year.. well i just got to be like kate winslet. . i cant have all of the perfection in this world .. tama na yun maganda ako (pwe) naiisip ko nalang ung kasabihang buti pa ang mataba pumapayat.. eh ang panget …

3. That i am half single.. you know what i mean single na double? Mahirap maging alone, mahirap maging involve.. pero mas mahirap lumandi sa Che Lu kung babae ka.. so ok nadin ung meron akong gwapong gwapong malalandi na walang effort (i love you po)

4. That i have to swallow.. my pride sometimes. Swallowing is not to bad naman pala eh (specially as one ages with grace….check #1)

5. That i have to admit coffee is not helping me anymore, kahit anong  palusot di na talaga papasa pa.. its more of addiction not a need and i have to really let go without being OA about it. I have to realize that  although my taste bud is committed my stomach is not willing.. (pati narin chocolates)

6. That im missing a lot of opportunities but some of it is necessary sacrifices.. so ok narin, i dont have to bitch about it (life goes on)

7. That sleep is necessary even if you wanna be awake.. again i cant have everything at anytime in this world.

8. That no matter how i brave i claim to be, i can never be like alcris.. na kayang pumatay ng rat using a hand knife sa kitchen sink (ewww)

9. That Iya is aging (in mind) faster than i do.. shes now 5 + 30 years old.

10. That 2009 will be the 10th year high school reunion of ateneo de davao batchmates (how did that happened?????)

–

I was thinking of a short lived but happy and fruitful life.. just like ung plans ni Cyrus to end it all when he is fifty.. that way dramatic till the end ang buhay.. but with this resolution i guess that may not happen anymore. I guess ill stick to wishing somehow a baliwag bus will swipe me to heavens (di ung driver ha ung bus mismo!!)

his take, her take

What better to do during a lazy afternoon, when you get too mushy rubbing four feet together saying i love yous?

Let me share how productive my relationship with my better half is..

“I need to interview you..” I said while gently poking at his tattoo on his left shoulder. “Hmm.. for what? Celebrity na ako?” he answered eyes closed.. “Siguro..” I said smiling at the thought..

I gently pulled up my mobile phone, there recently downloaded from cyrus and gaed Beyonce’s If i were a boy (remixed) feat R kelly singing if I were a girl. “Wafu, listen to this please and tell me what you think” i asked him still poking at his koi tattoo..

I know wafu was not that interested in listening to any songs lyrics (at si beyonce pa!!) but he did siguro for the sake kasi magiging celebrity sya ulit (hehe.. mahal ko talaga tong taong to! ikaw na gid!) heres how the “INTERVIEW” went:

If I Were A Boy (Remix) (ft. R. Kelly) Lyrics

If I were a boy
even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
and chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
and I’d never get confronted for it
cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

Her take: If i were a boy.. id be the perfect boyfriend for my girl but this is a classic gender war. Never ending; nothing new. All we girls are asking is you guys to treat us better.

His take: We would love to treat you better, but in the norms, guys will always be guys. Men will always be dogs.

- Men will always be dogs. Aso. Iro. -

- You can expect us to be LOYAL. But sometimes, we cannot be FAITHFUL –

Now there is a difference between faithfulness and loyalty.  A Dog for example, might wag his tail around, show everyone just how lovable and huggable, he will let anyone touch just about the tip of his nose, so as much as to lick for the goodies prepared for him.. BUT when the real master arrives.. the dogs’ loyalty will bring him to go back to where he belonged.

 Her take: No fair, not logical we expect as much loyalty and faithfulness as we offer..

His take: IF YOU WERE A BOY, then you would understand..

If you were a boy
then girl you’d understand
you need to stop listening to your friends
love, respect and trust your man

So I go to clubs with the guys
and sometimes flirt with the girls
I should be able to roll out
as long as Im coming home to you
and give you the world

But you are not a boy,
so you dont have a clue (ey)
How I work and pay the bills
girl everything I do is for you (eh eh)

His take: COMMUNICATION, not unless girls will know how to listen not unless men know how to listen. This is nothing new, ever since the start of the world it has been always a question of trust and communication.

Her take: That part where you should be able to do what you want as long as you go home to us.. do you think that is fair?

His take: It is.. you should understand what makes a man and what makes a boy.. a man would have all the flings but his home is where his heart is. A boy is sometimes reckless in communicating which is love and which is infatuation. Bear in mind that infautation is always a notch higher than love. Youll always be illogical when you are infatuated you tend to think you are inlove. But that as again what separates a man from a boy. If they are ready to sort the feeling of real love from infatuation, the one that they really love has nothing to worry about.

I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a Boy (Beyonce)

If I were a Girl (Kelly)

I would turn off my phone (Beyonce)

I wouldn’t play games (Kelly)

Tell everyone it’s broken
so they’d think that I was sleeping alone (Beyonce)

Girl you know thats wrong (Kelly)

I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
waiting for me to come home, to come home.

But you are not a boy,
so you can’t understand
You are not a perfect woman
and I am not a perfect man

I’d listen to her (eh eh)
Cause I know how it hurts (Kelly: and I know how you feel)
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

Kelly: Said Im sorry

It’s a little too late for you to come back

but I cant let you go
cause Im too attached (Kelly)

If you thought I would wait for you
you thought wrong

But you’re just a boy

His take: Given ang example na ito: When someone cheated on you girls, you decide to let go of the relationship, even if your guy promised you that he will do what he can to fix everything.. sino sa tingin mo ang talo? Don’t you think that if you really love the person and you gave up just because the guy did a mistake that he would promise never to do again pinahirapan mo lang sarili mo.? Bear in mind mahal mo ang tao, bakit hindi mo ipaglaban ang love mo na yun? It would be so much easier to pick up where the pieces all started to fell, rather than start all over again and all by yourself hoping for the best.

Her take: You think innocence is bliss?

His take: I think what someone need not to know, they need not to know. Inaamin naman ng lahat ng lalake sa mundo na minsan there will be “unfaithfulness” but again let me reiterate na iba yon sa “loyalty”, given na ang fact na talagang ganun ang guys. Why bother hurting the one that you love, that one that you are loyal to by spilling the milk? Flings, crushes, kisses, exciting lang lahat yun but we men will still crave for stability, sino ba naman ang mga fling na yan kung i kukumpara sa taong mahal namin talaga?

—

Her take: In the end all this makes me think is a relationship really worth it then. Parang naglalaro lang parang wala lang yet we bank so much emotion, time, energy and love. On my end naman, people in a relationship bank will always give too much and yet we expect all kinds from that other half too..gusto ng suklian lahat …but then again it takes two to tango.

—

My FINAL TAKE: being in a relationship does not require each half to give 50% each to fill out that 100%… give out your 100% no matter how small the other person gives.. you love him/her so therefore they dont deserve that 50.. Bank on all that emotions, even if there is pain .. because after all he is just a boy and i am just a girl. I may never understand his take, he may ponder and wonder on my take but thats it in the end what you both banked on will bring you to that real love that youve always prayed for. Again like that we will never be perfect even in that perfect relationship.

***

PS. .. sabi ko , again, if i were a boy even just for a day, ang girl ko ang pinakamaswerteng girl in this world! sabi ni wafu, ah ako if i were a girl even for just for a day… hahawakan ko ng hahawakan ang boobs ko at aabusuhin ko ang sarili ko..

tsk men.. ok lang love ko parin sila hehe.

if only we were each other but were not so papacute nalang kami

i named her ROPHE MIA

I named her Rophe (Ra-fa) Mia for she is MY HEALER.

Rophe is hebrew for Healer and Mia italian for mine..

My adulthood was rushed into completion with her arrival 5 years and 2 months ago. It was a spur of a moment decisions, that changed my life forever. And yet not a tinge of regret, not a feeling of unforgiveness.

It was a moments calm that i knew, I had the greatest life’s gift. Iya is a gift,she is a life of her own but a gift nevertheless.

mapping out disneyland hongkong

Just this morning i was laughing hard. Naghahanap si iya ng wallet. Akala ko kung ano na. ” I have money!!” she wails “Its 20 thousand!” My sleepy brain could hardly picture this out.. she quickly shows me her waddled monopoly play money “See? 20thousand!”

We are opposites you see. While i shy away from the limelight, Iya adores the being adored. “Its her duty kookie, you should be satisfied, eh kasalanan nya bang naging pretty-prettihan sya?” my friend pointed out. “Kung ikaw nasa spotlight., aba! mahiya ka naman!” she said laughing

at the airport going for a vacation

Iya too is an avid traveller.. She has been to more destinations than I have been! All over Asia all over the Philippines all over the compound and the house..

Its just so amazing how she grew up so fast, i hardly noticed how tall she grew, how she outsmarts me, how she kicked the bigger neighbor who bullied her (i do not tolerate her in this ha but i must admit i laughed when i learned the bigger kid cried for help when Iya started kicking her). And how she dresses up like barbie. Two weeks ago i was proud to say she has accomplish a feat that made me really proud. It has been my christmas tradition to clean out my closet and personal stuff. It is my way of thanking God for another year and faithfully asking him to provide for me and my needs the coming year (believe me this tradition has never failed me). I wanted Iya to voluntarily do this too, so in her 5 years of life since she has been all for herself. This december however, I was amazingly touch how she one by one sorted her toys, old clothes and old books to give out all in her choices! She tooked out all the stuff that does not fit into her being a “big girl” to give out to younger babies.

a night in laoag

There has been times when i wanted to give up too. Frustrated to wits end. This is after all still a world filled with people who would want to see themselves in better places than you are.

How they look down at us for never having that ideal family. How they pity Iya for not being sheltered more than other children are.

But seeing Iya makes all the difference. She dolly gails her way towards me. Kisses me on my forehead and warmly comforts me. And when she needed comfort all she does is lightly tilt her head towards my heart and listen intently.. “Nay, your heart said – tug – tug -tug, does that mean you love me?”

– baby i do, very much –  INAY..

This is for you Iya, For turning 5 years and two months tomorrow. For bringing that constant healing that i needed, for completing the Joy that i have always been named to be. For being little bitchy at everything, for turning out to be the youngest diva in the world, for being scared at you own puppy, pointing out that you like the more expensive barbie, for rooting for me (even if i am failing).

Babe, I will always be your bestfriend. Here, there and everywhere…