26 joys

Wew…

My birthday is coming around that corner again.. again another year older none the wiser. I still cry at random stuff, still get mad at days i never want to, tears drop when i yawn, still wishing for john llyod even if he has now ruffa, still fall inlove with all my heart sans head…

My 26 years of life has been the meanest enemy and the greatest gift.

This is one of the happiest birthdays that i am looking forward to. Spend it with my loved ones. Probably eating ice cream (my comfort food) and free lechon chicken (hehe ambisyosa). My little brother saying we are gonna drink the night away with jr lapad haha..

I haved always had this weird feeling that life will not be that long for me. I dont know many simply saying im hallucinating or something. But I do feel that and I am very very thankful that i am still here..alive, happy, healthy, heartily heatlhy… theres a nice feeling into it.

so im taking my time in a countdown of random things in my life.. things im grateful for, things im wishing well, things this lifetime has blessed me, pained me but  most of all kept me believing..that this has been the BEST 26 years a girl could ever have.

26. Ice Cream and my kiling kiling – my ultimate comfort food.. it always make my toothache, headache, fever and HEARTACHE go away.. to selectas classic strawberry.. thank you so much to manong who delivers kiling kiling ice cream each day sa office. for 10 pesos.. hay manong youre the best!

25. Flip flops – the greatest invention of all (wala akong masabi)

24. Kings of LEon and The Scripts – for my ultimate pangtanggal pagod music.. know what everyone should listen to their albums. naku naku talaga.. sweet..

23. MAGE’ – Eloisa, Diannah, Golds, Dane, Nico and Eugene – You guys have been with me almost 5 years ago..  and have been with me now. You have made my life here in manila so much easier thank you for being just always a text away and for the lasting friendship … may multo man o wala (ewww eugeneeeee multo dawwww).

22. Daddys High Blood Pressure , Mama Miles thyroid problems, Lola’s artrithis, Lolo’s Diabetis – because i have an excuse to choose the food that i eat and enjoy those that make me pleasurably guilty.

21. Peanut butter, Oreo, and Nestle fresh milk – Iyas favorite… it makes me smile when i see her devour these stuff.. makes me wanna be 5 years old once more no cares (dont even care if you get soooo fat!)

2o. Lassenga Ladies – for making me LOL all the time. for dancing the night away, for eating endless fatty food, for unbelievable aux jumps and for all time kiling moments.

19. NEW MITSHUBISHI STRADA or MONTERO SPORT – aw… im getting this.. haha

18. Miann and Tonet – for being my sisters

17. Ruffa Gutierrez – for making my John Llyod fall in love (huhu)

16. THAN – for being mine

15. MY 4 boys: KUYA DON, Joshua, Shammah and Shalom – Aint i the luckiest girl in the world?

14. chico and delamar top 10… everyday for the past 6 years.

13. MY EXES (hahaha) for being my very very good friends till now.. some good things just never last but i appreciate you (char – matouch naman kayo dyan!)

12. All my dearest friends – you know who you guys are.. there are a lot but i appreciate you being part of my life..

11. BAYANTEL – for unlimited calls to davao sunugan ng linya for making me feel that my family is never away.. i swear by bayantel

10. SUN CELLULAR – kahit putul putul gives me enaf to say endless i love yous …

9. MIMAY – you know ate has never been with you since what happened but ate loves you very much beh, i love you and i appreciate you being so much like me or not hehe.. love you baby very much

8. MOMMY – kahit away bati i love you

7. Laptop for making things like this possible (oh yeah and the internet) thank you!

6. Monthly girly cramps, PMS and all out dysmenorrhea – makes me think how wonderful it is to be a girl.. kasi masakit sya eh

5. Mommy and Daddy – well me and dad, you know me i know na grabe man ka OA inyo tanaw nko love gihapon ko ninyo (salamat dyud)

4. LOLA – my lola is the greatest joy in the universe I love you la, thank you for your love and your prayers.. i miss you and i will be spending my birthday with u.. till the next 15 years!

3. Ingettero at Ingeterra – dahil sa inyo ang ganda ko hahahahahah

2. IYA – kasi kalaro ko sya lagi at kasi tagalog nadaw sya daw ngayon bukas bisaya naman

1. God – for all the 25….

20 years too long..

Heres what a bored 5 year old most often does..

A pure generation gap syndrome..

Hmm.. i just finished browsing facebook.. what to do next?

This adult business is surely not my type ano ba talaga?

you see everyone has changed the delicate balance of my nature.. i feel that you as an inay has grown so outdated .. is that what all this money making life that you darn work so hard to live made you?

let me show you with this chess pieces how as a person you should always always try to stand your ground even among the odds of being heller na iiba..

can you see what i made?

hello! come closer and seeeee

yan oh! the poor collie is trapped among all the powers of the universe! But see how that plastic furless piece held her head high?

what?! youre so un-posh! look at it in another angle! this is art if you know whats good for you, better get a good look here (IYA in her most blairish moments)

see now? hay nko inay you're so out of my constance billard elite society.. ang jologs mo..

Right after this she opted to go shopping..

again generation gap.

coal coal coal

COAL.. harbour square.. with the girls with my man..  there something about this group..  di lang talaga nakakasawa kasama mga to.. arent they the cutest bunch? or is not my wafu the most wafu in the world? (walang pabor yan!! pwe)

cute nko oi

this one of that rare moments that we gimik outside of the usual malate venue.. it was a welcomed change, especially with wafu he was literally ecstatic hehe.. as usual thanks to kibi for the pics and to yaba jay who play photographer and asked me to pose and pose (nagpauto ako ok lang maganda naman ang kinalabasan..

pa pose daw

 

–

its loves month again and kanya kanyang diskarte most of my friends. Who would imagine that 10 years after high schools there is still that stigma of loneliness when you dont get to have someone to spend valentines with.. its unfortunate really when one can have all the love pag valentines..

Not too long ago after a morbid breakup, i spent my valentine at megamall ALONE and behold na libre ako ng concert ng san miguel philharmonic… sa mega A.. mabuti nalang.. that was the valentines bombing (which i hoped at that time nasali ung dapat ka date ko, bwehehe) .. so i guess all things work together naman for good.

– this valentines however will be slightly different. It will be with that wafu above of course.. he will be getting at tattoo for good which will cover his entire leftside back. Thats gotta be gorgeous and weird thinking i always poke his tattoo now i have a lot more to umm “explore” wag dirty minds.. ako lang ang taong nalalaro sa tattoo cute kasi..

–

committed to a life of loving

I got engaged
*
“I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.’ – Mother Teresa
*
When I was in 5th grade, IAN (Christian) a classmate left 3 cupcakes on my desk with a card saying ‘will you mery me?’ I gave the cupcakes to my yaya who ate it with much gusto, the card was made into a scratch for my math problems..

Three days ago, IAN (Alcris Ian, no they are not related) made me rethink about my life, laughed with me over a joke and suddenly asked me to marry him.. in the course of the conversation it just popped out of him, or maybe he was thinking all about this before. I thought about my life, where tears after tears were shed endlessly, where heartaches felt that they are never gonna end, where everything seemed to be a trial and error.. It is amazing how I came into terms with myself and I become aware suddenly that there is someone out there other than me who is feeling the exact same feeling, thinking the same thoughts … am I really gonna be spending the rest of my life with this person?
*
At the end of the conversation, after exchanging vows (was there ever a thing as engagement vows?) and after the giggling and laughing turned to crying and an incredibly romantic conversation, I felt I became a better person. What was ideal was never the ideal anymore, ordinary became extraordinary, I smiled in spite of myself, and felt that it was a smile that would only mean I am ready to commit and this time stick to the commitment. I was given the odds, end of the bachelorette days, gone are the days of non-stop beach parties with streaking for the heck of it, no more flirting endlessly, no drunk till you drop and wake up somewhere not familiar, in other words, since we are both mature adults who willingly commited, be steadfas be still and no ifs..
*
I understood things now. That it is not just about LOVE, it is so much more that that.

TRUST, even when knowing that part of it will be lost  more of it will be gained most of it we just have to hold on to. BELIEVE, even in this changing world, it will all be for the better and that there is a lot more goodness in there than one can imagine. FORGIVE, when there are shortcomings, when patience is dwindling when it seemed hopeless. PLAN, the future holds a lot, dream, work on it and dream some more. LAUGH, have fun you got forever to share life with. BE HONEST, with each other (he specifically said, tell me when you’re hurting, tell me what to do to stop the pain when it hurts). BE FRIENDS, no let me rephrase BE BESTFRIENDS, for in the end when all else might not count anymore friendship will hold a very strong anchor to keep you from drifting apart. LOVE till it hurts.. cliche as it may seem it is really true the lessons that you learn at the end of the day will keep you who you are.
*
It is only after this careful evaluation (believe me- to my wits end I did this) that I understood the meaning of fate.. I used to hate it knowing that I have no control over my life is frustrating, and yet when you love, you fall on all fours searching for an explanation, why, how, when , you can never question your feelings anymore such is fate when there seems to be no answers to your questions and yet you remain to love and you remain to feel loved.

I can say this with conviction now. For in this I found a faithful love and a loving bestfriend, who goes through the same things I am going through, who felt the same helplessness that I felt, who hides the same secrets and weaknesses. That love is something that you discover within yourself, whey you are finally ready and craving to share this and at that exact moment (of fate) you found the person you are willing to share it with.. it should be the moment of your total surrender. And by all means share it with a best friend ( I figured now, that you will never go wrong with a bestfriend).
*
I decided to commit my life now and although I am painfully at the prime of my barkada life, it is all well worth it. I can even smile endlessly feeling very blessed indeed. I realized that I have learned a lot, and I am willing to learn more still. I have a life to share and a bestfriend to share it with, I even learned the value of money now (haha!) and yes ill be saving up (after all in a short while they will be more than him and I). I make sure i keep up with my promise and even put work and other things aside for him. It is with absolutely no regrets now, that I resigned myself from singlehood, and enter the life of honesty, commitment, faithfulness, laughter and love. And i am loving every minute of it too – super! -

-I GOT ENGAGED TO A SUPER KALOG PERO WAFU, SUPER KULIT PERO BAIT, SUPER CHICKBOY PERO GOODBOY NA NGAYON, MY SUPERHERO ALCRIS IAN PESTANES LAST AUGUST 1, 2008 AT EXACTLY 4:34 IN THE AFTERNOON-